The Lord Will Provide (여호와 이레)

Because of the limitations of human languages, we often fail to express sufficiently the love and grace of the Lord. One such example is the expression that "my prayer has been answered." On first impression, it appears to imply that when we pray, the Lord hears our prayer and then allows our requests to come true. But I do not think that is the right order of events.

More than 35 years ago, when my family was immigrating to the US, many friends and kins came out to the Kimpo airport and worshipped together at the airport. During the worship service, Rev. Yoon Chan Kim, who was then the pastor of Pyoungahn Presbyterian Church in Seo-So-Moon in Seoul, delivered the message (if I remember correctly) that God, who is called "The Lord Will Provide", will send His angel before us (Genesis 24:7) and prepare our way in the US. The message was about the works of our God who knows and prepares our needs before we ever pray.

Needless to say, prayer is important and we must pray continually (I Thessalonians 5:17). But it is also important to recognize that when we pray and our prayer is answered, we are not receiving something that God had no prior plan of giving to us. Rather, we are receiving what God had planned to give us all along. There are several examples of this in the Bible. In Genesis 28, Jacob was fleeing from his brother Esau. At Bethel, he saw in his dream a stairway whose top reached up to the heaven. In verse 15, God promised to Jacob, "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you." God had already made the promise to Jacob, but later in verse 20, Jacob offered a prayer of a vow that if God stayed with him and brought him back to home safely, then He would be his God. Jacob was praying for a promise that he had already received from the Lord. Likewise in II Samuel 24, God had already decided to stop the plague in verse 16 and later David built an altar and prayed about it. And in Daniel 10:12, the angel of the Lord told Daniel, "Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them."

In the wilderness, the Israelites were led with the pillars of fire and of clouds by the Lord. In Numbers 10:33, it is said that the ark of the covenant of the Lord went before the people to find a place for them to rest. Indeed, even in our life journey, I believe that God goes ahead of each of us His children and prepares the way for us. He knows our needs and fills them (Matthew 6). I can verify this, because in my 35 years of immigrant life (actually in my 50 years of life), God has repeatedly demonstrated that He provides for me.

When we first arrived in the US, we unloaded our luggage and settled in a town called Bellflower, CA. At the time, Father had already passed away and our family consisted of Mom, me, Kelly in 5th grade, and Esther, who was not even a first grader. I did not speak English well and there was not much I did well in the new country. But God prepared for me a history teacher, who took a special interest in me from my first day at school. I think her class was my first class at the Bellflower High School. When I entered her class, she asked me a few questions (which I could not really answer, since I did not fully understand the questions) and told me to come and see her after school. When I went to see her, she gave me a copy of the textbook and told me to use it as if it were my own, writing on it in Korean and studying with it. And upon hearing that I was a Presbyterian, she said that she was one too and that there are not many Presbyterians in southern California, while there were many Baptists. She took the time to drive me to a Presbyterian church near my apartment and introduced me to the youth minister. Because of her, we were then visited by an elder from the church and we attended the church for a while.

Within a few months, we moved to New York City and I, of course, had to move to another high school. My mom, who was a nurse, was able to get a job as an RN, on the first day of seeking a job and found an apartment across the street from the hospital as well. It was also the same block where my new high school was located. There God also prepared for me a teacher who treated me with much favor. He was the science department chair, Mr. Robert Weinberger. After my regular classes were over, I met with him daily and did extra studies. I also assisted him, as if I were a teacher's assistant. He arranged for me to take classes at nearby City Colleges and this provided a firm foundation for my later studies at Yale. At Yale, I was able to obtain both a Bachelor's and a Master's degree in 4 years.

As I look back at my life and reflect on how I studied in medical school and became an anesthesiologist, how I met my life journey partner and together have raised 3 children, how I conducted research, published papers, and was promoted to an associate professor at Harvard Medical School, how I spent my time in San Jose as a department chair, and how I have come to Columbus and am continuing my journey, I have to confess that it has been a repetition of God providing for me time and again. God provided for me to meet good people and stayed with me through good times and tough times. To name but a few, I am grateful for Mrs. Geun Pyo Hong, My cousin Paul Kim, Rev. Eun Sik Park and his family, Dr. Edward Lowenstein, Rev. Hye Sung Kim, Rev. Jae Yoon Kim, Deaconess Myung Sun Sung, ... ; the list goes on and on. Above all, I am most grateful for my mother who relied on the Lord only in raising us three children and for my wife, whom God prepared for me and whom I met after prayer to meet the one God prepared for me.

It is impossible for me not to believe that God knows me best and prepares for all my needs. I believe that God knows what is best for me and intends to give it to me. My hope is that I may discern His good, pleasing and perfect will and present my prayer and petition accordingly. I pray that I receive the best gift of being filled with the Holy Spirit and live a life in obedience to God.